Happy Thanksgiving!

Enjoy time with your family. Many blessings friends!!

Mawage...

Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...

I sometimes feel like our upcoming nuptials are all I talk about. Then I think, hey you don't really talk to anyone here so you have full right to blog about it. Mike, as you know, proposed on the fourth of July. Well, it's mid-November already and I can't believe it. On the day he proposed we had exactly one year and one month until our set date. Now, we only have eight and a half months until our wedding.

It has been so exciting for us. and time has quickly slipped by. Being apart makes it very difficult. And by difficult I mean I get cranky after long periods of not seeing him, i.e. the four month separation until Christmas, and not being able to enjoy our time together as an engaged couple. Difficulties aside, it also makes our wedding day that much more spectacular. I am marrying the most wonderful man on August 4th.

I don't often have time to sit and think about the stature of this event. How grand and life changing it all is. Sometimes if I catch myself daydreaming, I snap back and think "We're getting married!" ala Carrie Bradshaw intonation, hand gestures and all (see, I love my sex and the city). I find myself not really grasping all that I'm planning. We have the florist, the photographer, the color scheme, the chapel, the reception site, the bridal party chosen, and my pastor. I know what we're doing for the invitations, the escort cards, the centerpieces, the favors, the wine, the music, etc. Very rarely though does it hit me that I am planning our wedding. OUR WEDDING! *gush* But when I realise, my day is marked by elation and extreme "ants in the pants lets get married" emotions.

Michael is just as excited, though he's very cool and collected, very "mannish" about it. And that's perfectly alright. He is the more levelheaded one in our relationship. So, I am planning this great thing that is the ceremony and reception. It will be a time that will be all about the bride and groom, but more importantly, will be about the friends and family that brought us to the point where we could make that lifelong commitment to each other. I'm going to marry this man, grow up with this man, have children with this man (darn cute babies), and be with this man until we die.

I'm going to be a mess on our wedding day. If I hold back the tears it will be nothing short of a miracle. I love him. Simply.

My Paintings

To indulge ego in me that wants to be let out time to time, here are a few of my newest paintings. Three to be exact. One, two, five...! The landscape i am not thrilled with at all. But i'll throw it in with the other two because hey, some of you actually want to see what i've been doing with my time in school.

my ugly ugly landscape

the complementary one..."Cornfields"... finished. Although, I may do some retooling of the actual cornfields. Not my favorite, but i like it.

i think i'll call this one "Fleet". The light is a little deceptive, but this is the best i could do tonight. "Fleet" only took me about two hours and i LOVE LOVE LOVE it. LOVE it. So much. I really do think i've found which technique works best for me. Thank God for impressionism, right.

a detail from "Fleet"*. This is the foremost ship.

*title may change, in likely event please proceed cautiously to exits.

Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to me! I've lived here three months today.
One: I can not believe it's been three months, let alone mid-November
Two: I feel like I've been here much longer
Threeve: I was born here, I belong here

Happy Anniversary to me...what does one get ones self for a three month anniversary? Good question self...

I...[part 2]

am still obsessed with Robbie...(my baby got me his new disc- YAY!)

can't believe her new single samples "The Lonely Goatherd" from The Sound of Music. No, really!

LOVE Lily Allen! If you haven't heard smile...well, lets just say, YOU SHOULD!!

[no picture]

am really excited to try Michael Chiarello's Pea Whipped Potatoes. Really. Yummm..

love seeing my handsome young brother...yes, he's single ladies -wink-

actually taught kids how to make these bugs. wow. (proud mom moment) :)

Artist?

So, I'm almost done with this painting. We had to take an artist- in my case Maurice Vlaminck- and copy one of their paintings in complementary colors. Vlaminck is one of the premiere fauvist painters. This means literally, the Wild Beasts. Thick lines, bright colors, lots of paint, lots of texture characterized these works. His work started out looking more childish like Gauguin. He had little art training, but after time developed a style closer to Van Gogh or Cezanne (very Cezanne) and sometimes Matisse. The Fauvist movement was short lived and his paintings became more subdued and orderly. I painted "Cornfield". This doesn't mean much to you since you can't see the original. I don't have a picture of that one. But here it is...my newest painting. I'm really starting to come into my own and I'm quite proud of it!

There's more to the world then DARFUR!

This is a reminder to myself to write about this topic. I'm not saying focus should be completely redirected from Darfur, but it's not the only humanitarian problem we've got. Not everything happens in africa people! I'll finish tonight hopefully when i have time. Some topics will include:

• Burma (Myanmar) and the Junta whose military dictatorship, which was never legally elected, is destorying a population and leading to yet another civil war
• Ukraine and it's lost children. Thousands of children from ages 3 to 15 (they become legal adults when the turn 16) live in the streets, or rather underneath them, all year long. Kicked out by parents who can't financially support children, they are displaced and left to survive in the tunnels below Kiev. Heating is regualted by the state, and along these underground, and sometimes above ground, pipes live a class of lost children.
• On a brighter note: MICRO-LENDING! http://kiva.org/ A little going a long way.

You know what I love...

I love Sheetz. You know what made my night? Sheetz...and Journey and Billy Joel. In a move I am sure to regret in the morning, I went to Sheetz and got my 8.30 dinner. It's delicious by the way. On the drive back to my place I ran the stations to find some good music. Low and behold- JOURNEY! Can I just tell you how much I love Steve Perry's voice. LOVE it! Love it. He makes me swoon (sorry Mike). And then what made the night progress even farther into "awesomedom" [yes, i made up a word- i can do that sort of thing] was the wonderful history lesson that is "We didn't start the fire" by Billy Joel. AMAZING! Now I know there are folks out there who can't stand the billy joel, but i don't care. I LOVE him as well! Yay! I mean anyone who teach 20th century history in a 5 minute song is tops with me. And what poetry...
"Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock" Anyone who can insert, let alone rhyme, all these things is a genius in my eyes. Ahh...what a glorious night

With the greatest of ease

And in one fell swoop I shift tone and stick in a new picture. Painting number 3. What do you think? Honestly? I love it. I painted it outside- which made it a tricky bugger. Do people actually read this thing? I know Gurley does, and that makes me smile. But let me know you do...and what you think of my paintings.

anyone who guesses the subject correctly will be sent a prize. and I am in NO way guaranteeing a GOOD prize :).



OOh, and my family. I had to add pictures of them from last weekend too. I look like my mum, sound like my mum, gesture like my mum but have all the looks, stubbornness, and tenacity of my dad. It's really quite amazing. I mean, come on, look at our chemistry.

Loopy

I sometimes feel very "out of the loop". At Grove City, the loop was form-fitting and comfortable. Now the loop has become misshapen and too loose for comfort. I find myself on the outside of much goings ons. This here online companion is sometimes my only link to friends. Sometimes I am so tuned into my surroundings that it sucks all the magic up from my circumstances. Other times, I feel as if I'm still the most naive person on the planet.

Do you ever feel that you don't belong ANYWHERE?? So naive that you can't even function properly, let alone socially? Well, I do, lots of times. Example: I have this vague idea of how I'd like my life to be, fantasies of great things. But most of the time I think I'm just kidding myself. I'm adventurous, but not so precocious as to actually set out and complete something wild. I'm too safe. Too uptight. It makes me cringe sometimes to know how truly uptight, or even stuck up, I can be/am. For instance: I have recently accepted the notion that maybe I too would like to be a professor. This is a relatively new notion, so it's in the early planning stages...don't get so excited about it. I want to teach art, more than anything. I'm actually teaching my own lesson plans for the first time on Wednesday and I'm scared out of my mind. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but I am nervous. Very nervous. Back to my train of thought though... being a professor. Do we ever think about what that word means? To profess. Why would anyone in their right mind allow me to profess on a subject I know little about. You think I know, but I'm actually more clever than anyone ever imagined. I'm clever and sly- never good character traits. I have this grand aspiration of getting a masters in art history. Studying in Rome and in Florence, Vienna, and London. Being able to go and live in these places so that the art and knowledge is as accessible to me as the National Gallery or North Carolina Museum of Art are now...but I'm being simply ridiculous. Could I EVER pull that off? I'm getting married for goodness sakes! How could this work out for Mike and I. I would love, love, LOVE, to go and study overseas (and he would too) but honestly, is this just a great dream or a reachable goal? How could that ever be a possibility for the Queen of Mundane? And stop thinking that I'm just being hard on myself. I know I'm my worst critic, I always have been. It's what keeps me from being too scathing, because that would give people the freedom to turn the tables on me, and I just couldn't handle that. Not well anyways. You must admit that you secretly agree with me. Be honest.

But seriously...me, a professor. "What on earth will she come up with next?"

One Great Journey

It's been quite a while since I've updated. Things have been so busy and wild that I haven't had much of a chance to sit down and enjoy me time. In my delirium of this late night hour, I will attempt a quick and poignant blog.

This past week I journeyed into the lands outside of North Carolina...*gasp*! It was truly wonderful. I got to see dear friends, girlfriends, and my family. I made my way up through Roanoke and made a stop at JMU to see my best friend/maid of honor, Molly. We didn't do too much, but we had such a great time. We talked, caught up on life, had great conversations, played Settler of Catan- this crazy german game that should not be played if you are drinking- and ate food. Oh, and there was the whole yummy pumpkin bread and me sleeping in until 10 something. Molly picked up her new golashas. We tried them on and took crazy pictures...hereee's a sampling...

this was a fun pose...see, happy!

molly's floating...in air...so believable!

then i made my way to Strasburg to see my lovely friend/bridesmaid Meg. I am sorry to report that I have no pictures of this visit. boo me.

the next morning I made my way up to grove city...i'll fill in words later, but here are some more pictures. EVERYONE loves pictures!!! yay...

Jesse and his pumpkin...yummy...the pumpkin's yummy too!

HARTZELL!!! could he be more quality?

and now it's stopped uploading pictures. end of post. goodnight!

I... [part 1]

am slightly obsessed with this man... and his tatoos

am in love with Imogen Heaps' music

sometimes just need a little sex and the city

am so very proud of my brother...and so is my Dad

am so excited for halloween...especially when i have children

have a family of fingerpuppets- from my fiance

still can't believe this was the "portrait" scott drew of me...maybe it's best he's tending bar...

A quick update- for Gurley

it's almost finished...i touched up a few things. final picture to come.

i know you're thinking what IS that?! It's a pickle pen (given to me by Megan Krimmel) and a little seashell...blown up, a macrocosmic painting ala O'Keefe. it actually looks much different now, but i forgot to take a picture. it too shall follow soon.

i have so much to catch ya'll up on. but there's no time right now...dinner calls.

Dropping hints ALL OVER the place

God is glory. Glory is God. This is where our sunday school lesson took us today. To the wonders of God and his infinite nature and glory. How often do we neglect Him and the reverence He deserves? How often do we look so narrowly upon all that He has bestowed. God's glory isn't only in the twilght, the stars, the great outdoors. It's also in the little mundane everyday things- of driving to work, grocery shopping, sharpening a colored pencil. I know that seems silly, but honestly, those who do not see the working of God in the simplicity of the everyday is either oblivious to the way He works or is seriously in denial about the offerings of God. My God is a jealous god. He is also loving and benevolent but will strike us, even in the most subtle ways, when needed. How awesome was it for Moses to ask to see God's glory, and he OBLIGED him!
"Then Moses said, 'Now show me your glory.' And the Lord said, 'I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion." Exodus 33:18-19
All it took was asking. What's keeping us from asking. I know it's pride and a variety of other factors for me. But why? Why on earth would I let something so tiny dictate the very nature of my relationship with our sovereign Lord? Silliness. It's all silliness.

God has been dropping blessings into my lap ever since I moved here to Greensboro. I found an amazing church and have a great new family already. I found a school where I belong and where I can grow. I found a great job because of the church I go to. I found a family to babysit for. How could I have EVER doubted that there wasn't a strong presence working in my life? How could I let myself be jealous of where other people are in their lives? Why couldn't I be content with where God has led me? I am HAPPY! I am CONTENT! I am in awe of my STUBBORNESS! But I am convinced more now than ever that I am where i should, no NEED, be. And things couldn't be better. Blessings. What blessings I have been given. Great blessings.

Update: A Story by Elizabeth

“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.”
--Pablo Picasso

[Pablo never understood women, but he understood children. This is why we will remember him. Insight.]

I've needed to update for quite a few days now. Much has happened this week, thus the delay in posts. The remedy!

I've finished my first TRUE painting. Well, it's not quite finished. It still needs it layer of glaze, and that will come next week. Though, I have to say I am quite pleased by it. It really jumps out at you and has that "Kaboom" factor that my prof so frequently talks about. It's a simple still life with nothing live in the picture, and what seems to be live is a fraud. But then again, that's what most of art accomplishes. It was Picasso who said "Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth." How excellent is that? We paint a canvas, etch a plate, take a photograph, etc. But everything that we put out there to view is a view from our perspective, hell-bent on making the viewer experience the same emotions and ideas. A pretty picture is just a pretty picture, but it's not art. THIS is why art is so absolutely amazing! Our truth finding someone else's truth and meshing to form a new or greater opinion; WONDERFUL! So, this illustrious painting that i'm so very proud of...

oh, and this is our horn-of-plenty. i'm so excited for autumn! 1.) it's my favorite season 2.) the colors are warm and rich, and that's the way i would love to decorate a house 3.) it's the perfect time for walks outdoors 4.) the aromas of autumn are delicious- i've had such a craving for pumpkin ANYTHING lately (it doesn't help that murd bought a pumpkin and i want to candy the seeds like yesterday). I very much want to cover the apartment in foliage and pumpkins and HALLOWEEN stuff. I can't wait until I have children. Decorating and enjoying the holidays will be one of my greatest treasures.

I started a job on Monday. It's with a utility auditing company owned by a guy at church. It's interesting, i'm learning how to read bill and utility rates- which will one day come in handy. Basically i enter data, do on-line research, and makes calls and faxes all day long. Luckily it's always busy, so I don't have much time to just sit with my finger in my ear. That's great! What's also great is that I work 25 hours a week, have NO weekends, and it works around my class schedule. Fabulous.

I start field work next week. The co-op teacher is supposed to be amazing. I look forward to it. This whole expedited teacher/license process is sometimes scary, but i'm ready- i'll start looking for a job in about three months- CRAZY INSANE...i know.

---

i HEART music! My friend Nat(haniel) [whom i adore even with brief contact] turned me on to the wonder that is Pandora. Check it out. Mike's already hooked. It was created by the Music Genome Project and it's AMAZING! You plug in an artist or a song and generates a playlist with that artist and those similar. I've been on a jazz kick for about a week now and plugged in one Mr. Harry Connick Jr. (dreamy!) and have been listening to Count Bassie, Sinatra, Mel Torme, Cab Calloway, Michael Feinstein, and so on. All so lush, rich, and delicious. I can't handle it sometimes. This is the type of music that will be played at our wedding. I think we can all agree that that is superb. Luck be a Lady by Jack Jones is playing right now, and i want to dance. I guess I'll have to settle with going out to dinner with a friend!

Remembering.

What astonishes me right now is that on this day of remeberence, not a single person on my list of links has written about the events five years ago. It leaves me speechless. But not speechless enough to not write about that Tuesday.

where were you? i was sitting in my third period class when the announcement to "stay calm" was presented over the intercom. Mr. Benson made some comments that made no real sense to us at the time, something about phones and staying in school is all i remember. The bell was about to ring in ghetto history and we were about to make our normal b-line for our fifth period classes. not knowing what his statements meant, we all headed towards our impending classes not really knowing what to expect. I walked briskly to AP English and the moment i entered the class i was greeted by a television screen filled with smoke and destruction. i had no idea what was going on. i remember sitting there just staring blankly at the screen, trying to produce some reaction to the horror that was unfolding. i didn't watch the second plane crash into the second tower, but we did watch the towers collapse.

word had already been out that the pentagon had been hit. living in northern virginia means that half the students' parents in any given school work for the government in some capacity, be it federal, military, contractor, etc. Even my mom works for SSA. Phone lines were down and very few calls were coming in or out. Friends and mates were panicking left and right. We weren't released from school because of the level of pandimonium that had already broken out. As we sat in that class watching the t.v., a friend kept insisting this was a terrorist attack. I don't remember everything that went through my head that afternoon. The whole school rushed to their final class of the day. Few teachers actually taught that day. I remember kids being angry about not being able to see what was going on, to know, to just know what was happening.

i never cried. i never shed a tear until this past Saturday. a dear friend was even affected by the attacks, and i couldn't produce emotions appropriate enough. my friend Traci lost her husband of 10 years. he died in the Pentagon. he was a civilian accountant. Eddie left behind Traci and his two daughters Ashley and Katie. Ashley was 7 and Katie was 3. Katie doesn't remember her dad. They're really special girls, and i used to watch them and i saw them grow up after 9/11. Traci decided to move the girls about two years ago. we're not sure why. i think most of it had to do with the memories of Eddie in our area. and she didn't want pity or to be known as "the one who lost her husband". that was a sad goodbye. i can't tell you why i haven't cried until now. but i can tell you that i will never forget, and they will never leave my thoughts and prayers. this is how i remember September 11th.

kick...push...grisaille

so i'm taking a painting class and this is our first assignment- a still life in grisaille. All this means is we start with a grey base and drawing. From there we fill in all black areas, then you move to either grey or white areas. Your finished painting will then be covered in a transparent glaze. This is how old masters used to paint. If you wonder why paintings now don't have the same feel or esscence it's because color is applied immediately to a canvas and hue becomes more important than depth. Compare a scene by Caravaggio or Tintoretto to Sorolla y Bastida or Van Gogh and you'll be amazed. The same measure of illusion is gone, this is why master works are so highly prized and respected. The product may not be as superior or popular as a modern work, but the process is masterful and that is what makes for a breathtaking painting. You couldn't have a Young Bacchus by simply filling in color on a dark canvas. I never thought i would ever consider myself a painter, but while learning this process i can truly be proud of what i have created and maybe begin to call myself a painter. maybe, maybe.

Witness

i have never thought that my calling was to evangilize personally to the masses. i have never claimed to be an authority on the Bible or its holdings. but God gave me a voice that has been used to bless members of my congregation. i have only thought that God gave me a voice for a reason, even if it doesn't stand up to trained voices. I've joined the choir at First Baptist. It's a fairly large choir, and a lot like our college choir with difficult music and warm ups and proper vowels- all which would make Dr. Browne proud. We actually have a concert on the 1st of October- which is a little insane, but when am I not up to challenges? The music program is really great at First Baptist. Doug and Terri Vancil run the show. Both have music degrees and masters, Doug in organ and Terri in voice. Needless to say some lovely, and difficult, organ pieces are played every week for the service. This also means that all hymns are sung to the organ. Wonderful. There are several choirs and some actually tour. Anywho...every once in a while there's special music and two weeks ago we had the pleasure of hearing "Witness" as a solo. A solo?! you say. YES. SOLO. it was a delight. i've been humming it since. this woman sang with such soul (and yes it helped that she was southern and black) that you almost couldn't keep the tears from your eyes and your head from bobbing in agreement to the powerful words. the words have been following me around all week and i can't explain it. so, since, after all of that, i have no words i can only follow with this...

who'll be a witness for my Lord?

who will be a witness for my Lord?

oh, i'll be a witness for my Lord

i'll be a witness for my Lord.

there was a man of the pharisees,

his name was Nicodemus and he didn't believe.

the same came to Christ by night.

wanted to be taught out of human sight.

Nicodemus was a man who desired to know

how a man can be born when he is old.

Christ told Nicodemus as a friend

"Man, you must be born again"

He said, "Marvel not if you want to be wise

repent, believe, and be baptized."

Then you'll be a witness for my Lord

You'll be a witness for my Lord.

You'll be a witness, for my Lord.

Soul is a witness for my Lord.

You read about Samson, from his birth

he was the strongest man that ever lived on earth

way back yonder in ancient times

he killed ten thousand of the Phillestines

then ol' Samson went a-wand'rin' about

Samson's strength was never found out till his wife sat upon his knee

she said, "Tell me where your strength lies, if you please?"

well ol' Samson's wife, she talked so fair, ol' Samson said

"Cut off-a my hair!"

"Cut it off!"

'Shave my head just as clean as your hand,

and my strength will come like a natural man."

Samson was a witness for my Lord

Samson was a witness, Lord

Soul is a witness for my Lord.

There's another witness for my Lord

My soul is a witness for my Lord!

these are some of my witnesses that i miss dearly! it even makes me cry, everytime i think of them.

Labor Day wonder!

where we went! we slid off of turtleback falls. i also bent my nail, not a break, but bend- ouch.

rainbow falls.

beautiful.

more beauty.

i can't handle anymore beauty!!

we ate yummy chinese and sushi

stupid jingles

If my life as an art teacher were to crash and burn i could always pick up my hidden talent of writing jingles. yes, jingles. they may all sound the same but, don't they all anyway? last night i came up with a jewel. It's about a Lobster. This is how it goes:
Lob-lobster
Lob-lob-lobster
Lob-lobster
Lobster!

see, doesn't it just end with such pizazz?! i think it does.